Bedtime Rituals

After two years, our bed time routine is becoming a dream come true.

After bath, we get Audrey's PJs on. Her pink monkey PJs are a definite favourite. She picks two or three stories (one most certainly from her vast Dora the Explorer collection) and we read them. We listen to "Chi Mi Na Morbheanna" by the Rankin Family, the first song on an excellent lullaby CD called The Planet Sleeps. In between, we chat about her day. Today, she was talking about going on the rope ladder on the "big playground" - basically the larger jungle gym at school that she's allowed to play on now that she's two.

Then I say her "special story" Goodnight Moon - which I have now memorized since I've said it almost every day that she's been on this earth.

Finally, after months and months of doing the same ritual, I'm seeing a payoff. She's now come to expect that I'll leave right after her special story. No more crying or pleading when I leave. She even asks matter-of-factly, "Mommy go now?"

I used to be obsessed with Audrey's sleeping habits and dreaded putting her to bed. I was terrified that I'd have a kid who never slept through the night and who begged to come into bed with us. Don't get me wrong. I'm pro co-sleeping, but I didn't want to be doing it until she was in preschool and beyond.

I read both the Baby Whisperer and The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Both of them are very informative in their own way, so I adopted advice from both. I gave her "dream feeds" (feeding her right before I went to bed so she could make it through the night). I put her down drowsy, but awake. I tried not to introduce any "crutches" so that she could learn how to go to sleep on her own.

Did it work? I really don't know. Audrey slept like a typical newborn her first three months, gradually waking less and less. When Audrey was about 14 weeks, I ran into an old workmate who has a daughter that's about six months older than Audrey. I asked how Adelaide's sleeping was going. He scoffed, "She's been sleeping through the night since she was three months old."

How true that was, who knows. Regardless, I was determined to have Audrey sleep through the night. And sure enough, after a few days of employing more tactics from the gurus, she did! I have pleasant memories of sleeping in until 9 in the morning, waking to her babbling to herself in her crib.

And then after three months, to my utter horror, she started waking again, at least once but usually twice a night.

This went on until she was a year old. She was teething, I'm sure, even though only her two bottom teeth showed their gleaming nibs by the time she was 10 months old. And finally, out of desperation, I "ferberized" her.

I was convinced it wouldn't work. Audrey's name means "noble strength", but some days I think it might mean "stubborn". But Jesse and I were at the point where we would try anything - so we vowed to give it a week. After two days, sweet silence.

Since then, Audrey has slept through the night most of the time. She did (and does) have bouts of waking especially when her teeth were coming in or when she's sick. Now at two years old, I would officially pronounce Audrey as a "good sleeper".

But after all that, I don't really know or think it was all of the advice from the gurus. They all - even Ferber - helped a bit in their own way. Truthfully, the one thing that has made Audrey solid is her bed time routine and knowing exactly what to expect and when.

And now, I love putting her to bed. I've found that the greatest reward from this hard work is not because she goes to sleep so easily - it's the time we spend together. It's the one of the only times during the day when it's just her and me. I can picture a future with shopping, cooking fancy meals, mending of broken hearts.

And really, that would be the dream come true.